Comments on: Feeling Empty? Don’t Try Filling the Void

By: Erwan

Erwan — Thu, 06 May 2021 11:44:58 +0000

This feeling of emptyness have showed up when I was only 14 and now it’s been almost 4 years that I’m dealing with it plus a mental hyper activity that makes me insomniac, a little paranoïd and insecure any where/any time (especially at night). I’ve never thought about it like a helpful way to grow up but more like a curse that forced me to not feel while everyone around me was talking about their feelings. Sometimes I just think that I’m crazy.

By: DeJuan

DeJuan — Sat, 06 Feb 2021 04:11:47 +0000

Thank you for posting this… yesterday, I found myself fascinated with receptive perspective while I was digging deep for motivation to do my math homework (university). I found that if I tried instead to feel the void of what I want (because I don’t have it), I can more easily receive it. I didn’t understand what it meant but the insight was so true to me that I couldn’t let it go. It feels like a void but it isn’t negative. Pure space… and it is so relaxing. I have ADHD so I have a lot of issues with concentration and while I’m feeling this vastness. Anyway, thanks for clarifying this for me.

By: Daniel

Daniel — Sun, 12 Apr 2020 16:04:38 +0000

For me (and many other people like me) this feeling or sensation of emptiness is a symptom (one of many symptoms) of my emotional neglect (CEN) and Complex PTSD and although many years have passed since I got it, I have yet to find a way to overcome it …

By: Gabriel Rocheleau

Gabriel Rocheleau — Thu, 27 Feb 2020 13:22:43 +0000

In reply to Varun.

Hi Varun,
First, I must mention that if someone finds everything empty and pointless, I would make sure they’re seeing someone trained to help keep darker thoughts at bay.

That being said, accepting one’s current state does not mean renouncing to change it. What I’m pointing to in this article is that there’s a feeling of “never enough” seated deeply within ourselves, of always “being hungry” for the next experience. We’re constantly chasing something that’s right around the corner, but when that desired thing finally comes, it never truly satisfies. Attempting to fill that psychological void with more experiences does not work, so we need another way of approaching the problem.

That dissatisfaction should be observed for what is is, and if one can manage, it should also be accepted. Strangely, embracing the urge to fill without acting on that urge seems to greatly reduce the suffering associated with it. This is my understanding of what the stoics were teaching and practicing, and it seems to be a much more sustainable and joyful way of living. And it also enables a way of life that’s less “needy” and therefore more proactive.

Hope that helps,
Thanks for your comment! 🙂

By: Varun

Varun — Wed, 26 Feb 2020 19:01:28 +0000

Hi, I understand that our reaction and judgement of our emptiness leads to more misery, but if accepting it is the way to go, how does a person who finds everything empty and pointless engage with life?

By: JOANNE YOON

JOANNE YOON — Sun, 29 Dec 2019 14:03:07 +0000

So positive… thank you.

By: Paul

Paul — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 20:39:52 +0000

In reply to Elle. I can't do meditation either. I have tried and I can't do it. It's not for me.

By: Paul

Paul — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 20:38:04 +0000

There’s a lot of crap talked about emptiness. It’s basically do anything other than face the truth. On the one hand we have the advocates of aversion therapy, which is basically distract, distract, distract, and on the other are the advocates of meditation, which is basically more emptiness. Both approaches fail to acknowledge the elephant in the room, which is that you have evolved to a level where you can see through the sham of this life, and how meaningless it is. In short, you’ve reached the last stop on the line in human existence: nihilism. Because at this juncture you realise how absurd human systems are and how they all ultimately fail in the end. Take religion for example. In the Christian religion, we have the spiel of ‘God loves you’, but it is all tied up in a very nasty self-perpetuating system of guilt, fear, and shame. The reality is that such things are untestable, and if they are untestable they have to be taken on faith, which nicely preserves the system and the business of spirituality, and perpetuates fear and shame. Many people who thought God loved them died a nasty death at the hands of a conflicting human system with beliefs that differed. Or take Capitalism, which uses the same carrot and stick system to persuade people to be part of the herd: the spiel here is be productive and fit in, and if you try to stand up for yourself you risk losing your job over it. Fall out of either system and you can consider yourself a pariah.

By: Gabriel Rocheleau

Gabriel Rocheleau — Thu, 26 Apr 2018 16:02:00 +0000

In reply to David. I can't give you any medical advice, and would recommend following the advice of your doctor. As far as I know, meditation has also been shown to tremendously help people with various conditions, including BPD.

By: David

David — Tue, 24 Apr 2018 14:14:46 +0000

I have BPD so my chronic emptiness is very painful. Any thoughts?